hmmm

I've been thinking lately about how much has changed since I finished high school in November last year. I have become so much more independent, responsible (for the most part) and mature, I got a job and all of a sudden I got a (bit of a) social life. I guess I can't complain. Right?
Wrong?
Something that still really irks me is how people who you consider to be your GOOD friends can treat you.
Growing up, I have always had some difficulty making friends. I still have this tendency to make friends with people if I can connect to them on an emotional level. It wasn't until I was about thirteen that I had finally found a solid group of friends who I could always rely on, and they still always have my back no matter what. But I always try to make new friends in different situations, like befriending friends of friends, trying to socialise at concerts and parties and whatnot. I have made some really good friends in these circumstances.
I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think I'm a relatively good friend. If you want to be my friend and I want to be your friend, I will put in 110% to make sure that everything works well between us. I'm not judgemental in the slightest, I will laugh at your jokes, I will let you borrow my CDs, I'll buy you concert tickets-I will actually do anything for you to make sure that you're happy.

But it's funny how you can put your life on the line for the people who mean the most to you, and they don't reciprocate in the slightest. It's actually really heartbreaking actually.
I've gotten to the stage in my life so many times where I've lost so many friends due to the lack of reciprocation between us, but in a way, I don't think some people can handle my friendliness. I think my optimism when I finally make a new friend scares them away, as well as my really quirky characteristics and interests-the things that helped me make friends on my first day of high school.
So I guess in a way this is an apology.
I know I'm very loud and enthusiastic about everything and it makes me seem kinda...scary? so I'm sorry if that has been a factor as to why friendships that have fallen apart.
But seriously, if you have a problem in the slightest with me and you're not putting in your weight into our friendship. Can you please clearly tell me that you don't want to have anything to do with me? I won't get offended, but it will spare me the heartbreak, distress of not knowing what's happening between us, and also time that I spend putting in a one-sided friendship. You're better off calling me and friend breaking up with me than sending me one word text messages when I be myself and try and be your friend.

/endrant.